This page lists transcriptions of all of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon's dialogue in The Simpsons Hit & Run.
conversations Folder
c_borrowing_1_convinit_apu_l5.rsd
Mr. Homer, sir. Do you have an oversized vehicle that I might be borrowing?
c_borrowing_3_convinit_apu_l5.rsd
Fine, whatever.
c_burger_1_convinit_apu_l3m3.rsd
Oh, this is terrible! A very bad man is delivering roadkill to all the Krusty Burgers, which are cheaper than my Kwik-E-Dogs!
c_clown(2)_1_convinit_apu_l5m4.rsd
Hello, famous American clown. I wish to ask a favor.
c_clown(2)_3_convinit_apu_l5m4.rsd
I require information about trucks delivering evil cola. How can I get this classified data?
c_clown_5_convinit_apu_l5m4.rsd
Thank you, horrible man.
c_congrats_2_convinit_apu_l1.rsd
What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?
c_cud_2_noboxconv_apu_l3m3.rsd
This is a moment of joy for us both!
c_dmv_2_convinit_apu_l5m5.rsd
Oh, thank you. Thank you, my violent associate!
c_emergency(2)_2_convinit_apu_l5m3.rsd
Oh no, my babies!
c_fail1_2_noboxconv_apu_l5r1.rsd
Oof, I feel a need to wash myself vigorously.
c_fail2_1_noboxconv_apu_l5r3.rsd
So how did I do?
c_fail2_2_noboxconv_apu_l5r1.rsd
OK, now I am scared.
c_hideout_1_noboxconv_apu_l5m6.rsd
What possible service could this be to the community?
c_hovercar_2_convinit_apu_l5.rsd
No, nothing specifically of the hovering kind, no.
c_hovercar_4_convinit_apu_l5.rsd
What are you talking about?
c_hovercar_6_convinit_apu_l5.rsd
OK, what on earth can I do?
c_intro_1_convinit_apu_l5r1.rsd
Hello, little customer. Are you here to help me in some fashion?
c_intro_1_convinit_apu_l5r2.rsd
Hello, little hoodlum. What is causing you to be standing here now?
c_intro_1_convinit_apu_l5r3.rsd
Hey, aren't you the boy who nearly drowned in the nacho cheese?
c_intro_3_convinit_apu_l5r1.rsd
The hair is your protein.
c_italian_1_convinit_apu_l5m2.rsd
Hello, stereotypical Italians. Please to tell me the source of the evil cola.
c_italian_3_convinit_apu_l5m2.rsd
Oh my gosh, your thinly-veiled threat has reminded me of my fatherly duties! I'm supposed to pick up the octuplets at the doctor's!
c_jerkwater_2_noboxconv_apu_l3m3.rsd
Perhaps you should consult Professor Frink at the observatory. He seems to know everything, except why I ever came to this jerkwater burg.
c_mob_1_noboxconv_apu_l5m1.rsd
The Legitimate Businessman's Social Club. Looks like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon is taking on... the mob!
c_mugging_2_convinit_apu_l5m5.rsd
Oh, what good luck, a criminal!
c_mugging_4_convinit_apu_l5m5.rsd
Surely a violent filthbag such as yourself could find out who is driving the black cola vans.
c_mugging_6_convinit_apu_l5m5.rsd
It is a deal.
c_mugging_8_convinit_apu_l5m5.rsd
Yes yes, whatever.
c_museum_1_convinit_apu_l5m7.rsd
Oh, Mr. Bart! I have discovered that the evil cola is being made in the Springfield Museum!
c_museum_3_convinit_apu_l5m7.rsd
And my car is out of gas!
c_museum_5_convinit_apu_l5m7.rsd
At those prices? No way!
c_profanity_1_convinit_apu_l5m6.rsd
If you do not tell me who owns the cola trucks, then I will be forced to use... profanity!
c_profanity_3_convinit_apu_l5m6.rsd
The museum! Oh, each level of this adventure is more exciting than the last!
c_redeem_1_convinit_apu_l5m1.rsd
Oh, I have been selling tainted cola. Unless I redeem myself, I will be reincarnated as a sea cucumber, or worse, a land cucumber! I must find the source of this evil beverage, the soda invoice commanded I go here, but I see no cola factory. Ooh, a cola truck! Time for me to do that Hindu that I do.
c_relief_2_convinit_apu_l5b1.rsd
Ugh, do not patronize my faith, OK?
c_scared_2_convinit_apu_l6m1.rsd
I'm sorry sir, but I cannot speak English, I only speak Hindi.
c_scared_4_convinit_apu_l6m1.rsd
Uh, yes I learned these phonetically.
c_scared_6_convinit_apu_l6m1.rsd
Up-down, up-down, go hot dog, butter my undershirt, blah blah blah.
c_seedy_1_convinit_apu_l5m4.rsd
Perhaps I should consult someone with connections to Springfield's seedy underbelly.
c_stinkdog_2_noboxconv_apu_l2m5.rsd
Please stop what you are doing, no one can sell rotten meat in this town but me!
c_success_2_convinit_apu_l5r2.rsd
I am American!
c_success_2_convinit_apu_l5r3.rsd
Oh, thank the gods there is!
c_tainted_2_convinit_apu_l4m7.rsd
Oh, there is little here not tainted in some way. Even the astrology scrolls give poor advice. But, I will get to the bottom of this.
c_tainted_4_convinit_apu_l4m7.rsd
Careful, Mrs. Simpson, this cola makes people do irrational things without guilt. It is as though they have bottled the effects of a raging frat kegger.
c_trust_1_convinit_apu_l5m6.rsd
Sir, this folder is empty! To rob me is one thing, but I never expected you to lie.
c_trust_3_convinit_apu_l5m6.rsd
Oh, I should know better than to trust that demented chuckle, but OK.
c_tushie_1_convinit_apu_l5m3.rsd
Quickly! Cover my incontinent children's tushies!
c_victim_1_noboxconv_apu_l5m5.rsd
Empty! I am the victim of chicanery most vile!
apu Folder
d_aidestroy_apu_excell.rsd
Never have I seen such excellence.
d_aidestroy_apu_impress.rsd
I am most assuredly impressed.
d_aidestroy_apu_thrill.rsd
That was most thrilling!
d_aidestroy_apu_trem.rsd
Tremendous!
d_air_apu_fun.rsd
I am having so much fun.
d_air_apu_house.rsd
I can see my house from here!
d_air_apu_maha.rsd
I am higher than the Maharishi!
d_air_apu_vishnu.rsd
Vishnu! Here I come!
d_arrive_apu_easy.rsd
I make this look easy.
d_arrive_apu_here.rsd
Here we are at the destination.
d_arrive_apu_karma.rsd
Good karma.
d_bcrash_apu_future.rsd
Perhaps I should refrain from doing that in the future.
d_bcrash_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh no!
d_bcrash_apu_skull.rsd
Ah! I smashed my skull!
d_break_apu_clean.rsd
Hah! Cleanup in aisle one!
d_break_apu_random.rsd
This is just between me and you, random object.
d_break_apu_shiva.rsd
Oh, Shiva smiles on such behavior.
d_burn_apu_metal.rsd
This is not good for my insurance.
d_carway_apu_vehicle.rsd
Move your clumsy vehicle!
d_carway_apu_way.rsd
Get out of the way!
d_damage_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
d_damage_apu_disgrace.rsd
Oh, never have I seen such a four wheel disgrace.
d_damage_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh, no!
d_damage_apu_think2.rsd
What in the hell were you thinking, sir?
d_dcar_apu_mad.rsd
Oh, Manjula is going to be so mad.
d_dcar_apu_outlet.rsd
Oh, that was an expensive mistake.
d_door_apu_drivea.rsd
If you want to drive one of these, get your own twenty-two-hour-a-day job!
d_door_apu_today.rsd
Get in the car please, I have many places to go today.
d_hitp_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
d_hitp_apu_entertain.rsd
Oh, your misfortune is most entertaining.
d_hitp_apu_fear.rsd
Oh do not fear, you will be reincarnated.
d_hitp_apu_step.rsd
You should not have stepped in front of my car.
d_mcrash_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
d_mcrash_apu_disgrace.rsd
Oh, never have I seen such a four wheel disgrace.
d_mcrash_apu_hell.rsd
scoff What in the hell were you thinking?
d_missp_apu_fault.rsd
Not my fault!
d_missp_apu_silly.rsd
Get out of my way, silly pedestrian!
d_missp_apu_watch.rsd
Why don't you watch where you are walking?!
d_time_apu_late.rsd
Apu does not like to be late.
d_time_apu_rate.rsd
We are never going to get there at this rate.
p_hitbyc_apu_01.rsd
Stop you crazy driver!
p_hitbyc_apu_rude.rsd
That was so rude.
p_hitbyc_apu_skull.rsd
Ah! I smashed my skull!
p_hitbyc_apu_wound.rsd
Dooh! That has reopened my many gunshot wounds.
p_hitbyw_apu_01.rsd
Oh!
p_hitbyw_apu_02.rsd
Ouch!
p_hitbyw_apu_03.rsd
Goodness!
p_hitbyw_apu_04.rsd
Oh my!
p_hitbyw_apu_05.rsd
Ah!
p_hitbyw_apu_06.rsd
Yoh!
p_hitbyw_apu_07.rsd
Hooney!
p_hitbyw_apu_08.rsd
Oh no!
p_hitbyw_apu_09.rsd
Please don't!
p_nhitbyc_apu_02.rsd
Goodness!
p_nhitbyc_apu_03.rsd
Oh no!
p_nhitbyc_apu_04.rsd
Please don't!
p_nhitbyc_apu_flesh.rsd
Look out! My flesh is less resilient than it looks.
w_activate_apu_go.rsd
Push push push!
w_activate_apu_hope.rsd
I hope this works.
w_activate_apu_try.rsd
Hm, let's try this thing.
w_aidestroy_apu_impress.rsd
I am most assuredly impressed.
w_aidestroy_apu_never.rsd
Never have I seen such excellence.
w_aidestroy_apu_thrilling.rsd
That was most thrilling!
w_aidestroy_apu_trem.rsd
Tremendous!
w_air_apu_fun.rsd
I am having so much fun.
w_air_apu_house.rsd
I can see my house from here!
w_air_apu_maha.rsd
I am higher than the Maharishi!
w_air_apu_vishnu.rsd
Vishnu! Here I come!
w_arrive_apu_easy.rsd
I make this look easy.
w_arrive_apu_here.rsd
Here we are at the destination.
w_arrive_apu_karma.rsd
Good karma.
w_askfood_apu_fatty.rsd
Alright, juvenile. Serve me a fatty poison of some kind.
w_askfood_apu_food.rsd
My huge potbelly is completely empty.
w_askfood_apu_giving.rsd
Please to be giving me something to eat, thank you.
w_askfood_apu_kill.rsd
What do you have that won't immediately kill me?
w_askfood_apu_outside.rsd
How odd to eat non Kwik-E-Mart food.
w_askfood_apu_vegan.rsd
Do you have anything at all made of chickpeas?
w_askride_apu_life.rsd
If you give me a ride, I will pay you a million dollars in the next life I promise.
w_askride_apu_ride.rsd
Could I possibly get a ride?
w_bcrash_apu_driving.rsd
What are you trying to prove with this crazy driving?!
w_bcrash_apu_future.rsd
Perhaps I should refrain from doing that in the future.
w_bcrash_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh, no!
w_bcrash_apu_skull.rsd
Ah! I smashed my skull!
w_breakca_apu_01.rsd
Call me the Hindu God of Death! Oof!
w_breakca_apu_creepy.rsd
Oof, these things are just too creepy. Oof!
w_breakca_apu_forgive.rsd
Oh, forgive my action, little device!
w_breakca_apu_forgivea.rsd
Oh, forgive my action, little device.
w_breakca_apu_lessa.rsd
One less of you.
w_break_apu_aisle.rsd
Hah! Cleanup in aisle one!
w_break_apu_random.rsd
This is just between me and you, random object.
w_break_apu_shiva.rsd
Oh, Shiva smiles on such behavior.
w_burn_apu_blood.rsd
I am a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!
w_burn_apu_cricket.rsd
Jiminy crickets!
w_burn_apu_power.rsd
Three hundred horses of convenient power!
w_card_apu_01.rsd
I hope these unlock many secrets.
w_card_apu_collect.rsd
Collecting useless things makes me feel like a true American!
w_card_apu_many.rsd
I wonder how many of these there are.
w_card_apu_manya.rsd
I wonder how many of these there are?
w_card_apu_who.rsd
Who would put such a thing in such a place?
w_carway_apu_cracker.rsd
Move it, cracker!
w_carway_apu_hindu.rsd
Hindu coming through!
w_carway_apu_whitey.rsd
Hey, move it, whitey!
w_char_apu_04.rsd
Oh!
w_char_apu_05.rsd
Hah!
w_char_apu_flesh.rsd
Look out! My flesh is less resilient than it looks.
w_char_apu_kwik.rsd
Stay out of my way please, Kwik-E-Mart business!
w_char_apu_silly.rsd
Out of my way, silly customer!
w_damage_apu_four2.rsd
Never have I seen such a four wheel disgrace.
w_damage_apu_hell.rsd
scoff What in the hell were you thinking?!
w_damage_apu_hell2.rsd
What in the hell were you thinking, sir?
w_damage_apu_ohdear.rsd
Oh, dear.
w_damage_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh, no!
w_dcar_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
w_dcar_apu_shame.rsd
You should feel only moderate shame.
w_dcar_apu_suck.rsd
Forgive the rudeness but, you suck.
w_dcar_apu_think2.rsd
What in the hell were you thinking, sir?
w_fall_apu_dream.rsd
Oh please, be a dream!
w_fall_apu_poor.rsd
Oh! What a poor decision!
w_fall_apu_whoa.rsd
Whoa!
w_foodreply_apu_bacon.rsd
Perhaps a little chocolate-covered bacon will suit your needs.
w_foodreply_apu_canada.rsd
This batter-fried chili dog is illegal in seven states!
w_foodreply_apu_combo.rsd
Perhaps the crazy name of my new Crazy Value Combo will appeal to you.
w_foodreply_apu_curry.rsd
Perhaps this curry pixie stick will suit your fancy.
w_foodreply_apu_energy.rsd
This new health bar is pure chocolate.
w_foodreply_apu_fats.rsd
Might I suggest the new Cheddar Squishee. It's the latest thing in chilled fats!
w_foodreply_apu_indian.rsd
This new Squishee Vindaloo will bring out the Indian in anyone.
w_foodreply_apu_karmic.rsd
The additives in this microwave burrito will extend, or shorten, your life.
w_foodreply_apu_meat.rsd
I think you will find this cylindrical meat casing most enjoyable.
w_foodreply_apu_mystery.rsd
Maybe you would care to eat what's in the mystery box.
w_foodreply_apu_needs.rsd
Perhaps some surprisingly expensive penny candy will suit your needs.
w_foodreply_apu_pork.rsd
Try our new Pork Squishee! It's Ham-tastic!
w_foodreply_apu_sanjay.rsd
I'm so glad you came. If I don't increase profits, I'll have to sell Sanjay to the Krusty Burger!
w_foodreply_apu_shrimp.rsd
Perhaps a little, quote-unquote, "shrimp" will tide you over.
w_foodreply_apu_sticks.rsd
I would be happy to suggest these new pretzel rods. They're made by an oil company.
w_foodreply_apu_sticksa.rsd
I would be happy to suggest these new pretzel rods. They're made by an oil company!
w_goc_apu_air.rsd
Oof, the fresh air is somewhat confusing.
w_goc_apu_finish.rsd
Oof, I must finish quickly or vomit.
w_goc_apu_lithe.rsd
I hope I am still the lithe runner I was in my youth!
w_greeting_apu_fine.rsd
How are you this fine day?
w_greeting_apu_loyal.rsd
Greetings, loyal customer!
w_hitbyc_apu_rude.rsd
That was so rude!
w_hitbyc_apu_skull.rsd
Ah! I smashed my skull!
w_hitbyc_apu_wound.rsd
Dooh! That has reopened my many gunshot wounds.
w_hitp_apu_01.rsd
Thank you for not dodging!
w_hitp_apu_02.rsd
Your misfortune is most entertaining to me.
w_hitp_apu_car.rsd
You should not have stepped in front of my car.
w_hitp_apu_enter.rsd
Oh, your misfortune is most entertaining.
w_hitp_apu_fear.rsd
Oh do not fear, you will be reincarnated.
w_hitp_apu_silly.rsd
Get out of my way, silly pedestrian!
w_longjump_apu_excell.rsd
Most excellent!
w_longjump_apu_thrill.rsd
That was most thrilling!
w_longjump_apu_trem.rsd
Tremendous!
w_mcrash_apu_ability.rsd
Oh, how unproductive.
w_mcrash_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
w_mcrash_apu_four.rsd
Oh, never have I seen such a four wheel disgrace.
w_mcrash_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh, no!
w_mcrash_apu_think.rsd
scoff What in the hell were you thinking?
w_mfail_apu_end.rsd
It looks like the end of the road for Apu.
w_mfail_apu_failure.rsd
Oh, I cannot watch such a display of failure!
w_mfail_apu_feel.rsd
I feel like an untouchable!
w_mfail_apu_shame.rsd
I have brought shame to my family and my store.
w_missa_apu_cracker.rsd
Move it, cracker!
w_missa_apu_going.rsd
Why don't you watch where you're going?!
w_missa_apu_hindu.rsd
Hindu coming through!
w_missa_apu_whitey.rsd
Hey, move it, whitey!
w_missp_apu_car.rsd
You should not have stepped in front of my car.
w_missp_apu_dear.rsd
Oh, dear.
w_missp_apu_silly.rsd
Get out of my way, silly pedestrian!
w_mstart_apu_odor.rsd
I must admit, the smell of fresh air is much more pleasing than the odor of the hot dog machine.
w_mstart_apu_store.rsd
Hopefully my store will not be robbed more than four times while I am driving around today.
w_mstart_apu_teens.rsd
Oh, I had better hurry. Last time I left my store, hoodlums put pornography in the bridal magazines.
w_mvic_apu_01.rsd
Thank you all for coming, I'll see you in hell!
w_mvic_apu_03.rsd
Shiva H. Vishnu! My jubilation knows no bounds!
w_mvic_apu_brahmin.rsd
Oh! I feel like a Brahmin!
w_mvic_apu_come.rsd
Thank you, come again.
w_mvic_apu_driver.rsd
I am the greatest driver in all the land!
w_mvic_apu_glory.rsd
I have brought glory to the name of Nahasapeemapetilon!
w_mvic_apu_like.rsd
That's it Apu, make them like it!
w_newai_apu_come.rsd
Where'd that guy come from?
w_newai_apu_kid.rsd
You have got to be kidding me.
w_newai_apu_ohno.rsd
Oh, no!
w_objectw_apu_hurry.rsd
I've got to hurry up or my arranged bride will chastise me!
w_objectw_apu_papa.rsd
Come to papa, random object!
w_objectw_apu_room.rsd
I hope I have room in my pants for this.
w_objectw_apu_sense.rsd
Who put this here? It makes no sense!
w_passed_apu_cheat.rsd
Oh come on, he cheated!
w_passed_apu_comeon.rsd
Color me outraged!
w_passed_apu_disgrace.rsd
Oh, what a disgrace!
w_pass_apu_chance.rsd
You have no chance!
w_pass_apu_vehicle.rsd
Too slow, opposing vehicle!
w_pass_apu_woohoo.rsd
Woohoo!
w_ridereply_apu_azteca.rsd
I hope you like loud Indian music, because I do! loud Indian music
w_ridereply_apu_childrena.rsd
Eh, why not. Anything to keep me from my family, ha!
w_ridereply_apu_jiffy.rsd
I'll be there in a jiffy, or my name isn't Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
w_ridereply_apu_karma.rsd
Of course, it will be good for my karma.
w_ridereply_apu_kwik.rsd
Come on in. Sorry, but I'm bleeding from a recent gunshot wound. Oof.
w_ridereply_apu_meat.rsd
I hope you don't mind, my car smells like chutney.
w_ridereply_apu_minor.rsd
Oh sure, with my twenty-two-hour work day, I have lots of time to help out minor acquaintances.
w_ridereply_apu_nudity.rsd
Please don't sit on my Ganesh doll.
w_ridereply_apu_police.rsd
Get in, whitey!
w_springboard_apu_01.rsd
Bouncy bouncy!
w_springboard_apu_acro.rsd
Oh, I am surprisingly acrobatic!
w_springboard_apu_flying.rsd
I'm flying!
w_springboard_apu_whee.rsd
Whee!
w_tail_apu_bargain.rsd
That car belongs in the bargain bin!
w_tail_apu_easier.rsd
Your failure shames you! Yes you!
w_tail_apu_try.rsd
Nice try, foolish driver!
w_time_apu_hurry.rsd
Oh, I must hurry in a forward direction!
w_time_apu_late.rsd
Apu does not like to be late.
w_time_apu_rate.rsd
We are never going to get there at this rate.
w_turbo_apu_01.rsd
My cardio is shot!
w_turbo_apu_02.rsd
Oh, my giant gut is slowing me down.
w_turbo_apu_breath.rsd
Oh, fathering eight children has really hurt my stamina.
w_turbo_apu_minute.rsd
Just give me a minute, to catch my breath.
w_turbo_apu_sleep.rsd
Oh, I should sleep more.