This page has transcriptions of Kearney Zzyywicz's dialogue.
Who cares? Video games are so late nineties; illegal fireworks are all the rave now. Better make it snappy, though, if you wanna be part of this trend.
I've got just the thing! I've got a car that was owned by a supervillain; he used it to conquer the East coast.
This will echo in eternity!
Why do bad people suffer?
I'm gonna beat you and or your child!
Ohh, I've never know such pain!
Ohh, how will I pay for my child support?
You ever been hit with a nine iron?
Bring it on, tool!
Stop touching me!
Come on, quit it!
You call that a drive-by?
Missed me, dork!
You drive poorly!