This page has transcriptions of Lou the Cop's dialogue.
Someone call a cop!
Suspect is hatless, repeat, hatless.
Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark.
Uh, I'm waiting for a bribe here.
I dropped my gun!
Assaulting a police officer is a federal offense... I think.
Woah, that's some nice reckless driving there.
Woah, officer scared, requesting hug.
Uh, officer down, requesting nachos.