This page has transcriptions of Ned Flanders's dialogue.
Ugh, I'm all in a dither, Homer. So many of my possessions have disappeared, I called the police to find the culprit.
My lawn mower, my cooler, my lawn chair, a family portrait, even Rod's inhaler! What kind of sick individual would take this stuff?
Well, I was hopin' to save it for Rodder and Todder, to, y'know, bandage their brain-eater booboos.
Will that work to fend off zombies?
H'okilly dokilly! Here's the first aid kit.
Hahah, thanks neighborooney. Here's your reward, a prayer from the Lord's number one fan. Our Father in heaven, bless this noble oaf.
scream I'm comin' to join you, Maude!
I think I hurt my neck.
Don't worry, I have insurance.
Augh, I guess this is God's plan.
Heheh, bless your mistake, friend.
I-I suffer for your sins.
Ahah, good one!
Hey, now that's just plain rude!
Woah, you bumped me there, fella!
That's OK, my flesh is surprisingly firm.
Heh, I'm sure that was an accident.
Ohh! Look out there, fella!
Yikes! That was close.
Hey, now wait a goldarn minute here!
ding dong Do you know the gumdrop- uh, I mean password?
ding dong Is that you, Lord?
ding dong Not now, I'm busy genuflecting.
ding dong Finally, my videotape of Christian vegetables is here!